


I Think I'm Gonna Throw Up On You.

by DaughterofDarkness



Series: To Boldly Start a New Life [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23961469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaughterofDarkness/pseuds/DaughterofDarkness
Summary: After I found my husband of 5 years in bed with the maid, of all people, I somehow found myself on a transport to San Francisco after enlisting in Starfleet Academy. I ran into an interesting man who managed to make me laugh for what feels like the first time in years. He then proceeded to throw up on me and the blond next to him.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Original Female Character(s)
Series: To Boldly Start a New Life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727530
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	1. Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> I'm paraphrasing the movie because it's been a while since I last saw it and I don't feel like rooting for it in my DVD collection.
> 
> Also Tarsus IV did happen, Jim was messed up by it. I won't go into detail but it will be mentioned.

I guess I should start at the beginning. It really all started the day I quit my job after one too many discrepancies, as I was told to call them. I came to what used to be my home with my "box of shame" utterly exhausted and ready to go to sleep with my loving husband. Or so I thought.

I walked into the house and went upstairs to our room after putting down my things. I walked slowly up the stairs, I guess that was a good thing because this way I could hear what my Ex was doing. Or rather, who. I ran into our bedroom to find my ex in bed with the maid. Of all people the maid, it made me feel like I was living in a cliché.

I threw the lights on, walked into my closet and took all my necessities and put them in a duffle bag, walked back into the bedroom to stare into my Ex's eyes and threw his rings in his face. Then I drove to the nearest bar and drank myself under the table. That's where Chis found me, half-dead and angry at life. It seems to be one of his themes, to pick up the broken pieces of people and super-glue them back together. Not that I'm complaining, it was the best decision I ever made, to sign up for the Academy. Though I do enjoy teasing Chris now and again.

A week later I showed up at the shuttle port in Riverside, Iowa and accepted Pike's offer. I have yet to look back to regret my decision and I don't honestly believe I ever will. 

As I sat down in the row closest to the exit so I could keep and eye on whoever entered after me. Just my luck a blond haired blue eyed man waltzed onto the shuttle pod like he owned the damn thing, and sat right next to me. Now, normally I wouldn't have minded but this man looked like he went three rounds the a boulder and that was not something I personally wanted to deal with. If only to save myself the drama that most likely came with knowing. All of a sudden a noise from farther back in the shuttle drew your attention from your inner monologue. 

"Sir you need to find your seat." An exasperated voice called.

"I already had one. In the bathroom with no windows!" A male voice said, just as irritated.

"Sir you need to sit down right now, before I make you sit down." The attendant finally snapped.

The man grumbled but took the seat to the other side of me. "I might throw up on you"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't but, if you insist, at least aim for the blond next to me too"

"Hey!" an indignant voice to your right said. "I'll have you know that prime throwing up areas include beings that aren't as pretty as you and me." 

"How modest of--" I was cut off by the man on your left projectile vomiting on both yours and the blond man's shoes.

"Gross" The two of you said in unison.

"Well now that the two of us are wearing the third's stomach acid and DNA it seems only right to introduce ourselves, Jim Kirk." The blond held out his hand.

"Tamara Helm," I shook the offered hand "And what is your name mystery man?"

"Leonard McCoy, and I thank you for allowing me the pleasure of throwing up my booze on your shoes. What's got a fine woman like yourself on her way to Starfleet of all places?"

"If you must know, I found my husband in bed with the maid and I left him without a word. I currently have my lawyer getting rid of him in the quickest way possible. So far that apparently includes him running out the house that's been in my family since 2105."

"I know how that is. My Ex took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones."

"What about you pretty boy? You got a failed marriage you're running away from too?" I asked, semi-sarcastically.

"Nope! I got tired of being the only genius-level repeat offender in the Midwest. Using Chris' words, not mine. Bones, Helm, I thing we're gonna get along great.

"Wait you got recruited by Pike too?" Leonard asked.

"Sure did!" Kirk said, "I was getting my ass kicked and he whistled really loud and then he spent the next hour telling me how much good I could do in Starfleet while I stuffed napkins into my own nose."

"Funny, I drank myself under the table and was one drink away from alcohol poisoning when he hauled my ass up and shoved me, fully dressed, into a cold shower." I said. 

"He did just about the same thing with me. Told me I could make my little girl proud if I could pick myself up and do something with my life. So I did,"

"Well, at least we now know Captain Christopher Pike's recruiting methods." Kirk said, and I couldn't help but agree.


	2. Dorm Assignments and Scheduling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Landing, schedules, and dorms oh my.

In the 7 hours it took to get to California, I learned that Leonard hates his full name and the nickname Jim gave him, Jim hates being called anything but Jim or J.T. and Leonard wants me to call him Leo or Len or 'Please anything but Bones or Leonard, I beg you!' The three of us made our way to the information area for late enlistees where we would get our school PaDD's, dorm assignments, and schedules. 

"This needs to be fixed" Jim mumbled. "I need this to be advanced and I shouldn't even have that one."

"Jim, what are you talking about these are the regular first year courses." I say, slightly confused.

"Yeah and I shouldn't be in them, I tested out of almost all first year courses and even some second year ones. Even if I hadn't before I got here, I hold degrees in most of these subjects. Like 'Basic Starship Engineering" I have a PhD in Warp Theory and Warp Core Engineering. 'Basic Sciences', I got bored when I was like 14 so I have a doctorate in Geophysics Astrophysics, and Quantum Mechanics. Well, Quantum Mechanics I finished after I turned 15, nut the point still stands!" Jim Sounded very frustrated, and, well, anyone else in his position would be. 

"You weren't kidding about the genius thing were you?" I said, more than a little impressed.

"Nope!" He replied, popping the 'p'. Leo still had his mouth slightly open so I reached over to close it. "That's just my engineering and science stuff though. I'm also fluent in 10 Terran languages and 15 Xenolinguistic dialects. I got really bored while I was supposed to be paying attention in class."

"Oh," I slung my arms over the two men's shoulder's, "This is gonna be awesome."

We then took the next week before classes helping each other find our classes, after Jim's schedule was fixed of course. Jim and Leo were rooming together and I was rooming with 3 other women, tow of which were on the shuttle with us, Nyota Uhura and Christine Chapel. My third roommate was an Orion woman that was very friendly and seemed to be put out by how she was being treated. This didn't sit well with anyone in what I know considered my friend group, least of all Jim who went out his way to help Gaila. Christine's a nurse and so after Jim would inevitably get into a fight to protect Gaila's honor, as he called it, she and Leo would fix him up. Then all six of us would curl up in the living area of the four of y'all's apartment to watch whatever holovid Gaila/Jim would pick for that night.

The first day of classes was more than a little interesting. Like Leo and Jim I had experience and degrees that advanced my schedule so I was more on par with what a second year cadet would be doing while still being in my plebe year. Because of this my professors were more... varied than would be normal. Of course there was the normal range of 'would rather bathe in bleach than be here' teaching to 'I can hardly wait for the next class because a; the teacher's hot and or actually good at their job.

That being said, of course on the first day Jim decided he was gonna stand up for Gaila, to an Admiral of all people. Said Admiral should have been discharged immediately after slapping Gaila's rear and commenting on how nice she'd look in his bed. And he would have been too because I had recorded the whole thing, but Jim walked up to the asshole and sucker punched him. A cadet. Punching. An Admiral. It was so beautiful and so, so idiotic. But that's just Jim, isn't it?

So there we were, sitting in the Head of the Academy's waiting room. Jim, Leo, Gaila, and Me. Yay us.

"You may enter the Dean's office now." The tight lipped secretary said, almost as if our presence disgusted her. That is, if her sneer was anything to go by. 

"Thank you!" I said, as chipper as possible, just to piss her off. I led our merry group of misfits into the Dean's office only to see our own dear Captain Pike.

"Chris! How you doin'? You know, the weirdest thing just happened. One of the Admirals of this esteemed establishment is apparently a sexist xenophobic asshole because he just assaulted Gaila in front of a lecture hall of people. Oh! Also, I got it ALL on camera." I said sliding into the seat across from him, on the other side of his desk, of course. 

"Admiral, is this true?" Pike looked almost giddy at the thought of shutting this asshole down. "You know with the previous accusations that this could end your career."

"I'd like to see this so called video. Because I don't recall doing any such thing." Admiral Grant said. Like we wouldn't dare showing any video, if we had any, lest he ruin our academic careers.

"Gladly sir. Jim, my PaDD please." I said holding my hand towards Jim.

"Happily, my good friend." He reached into your bag and handed you your personal PaDD that had the recording on it. "Gentlemen, if you'll turn your attention to the screen, I'm sure you'll find this next clip highly entertaining." I said pushing the button that would play the video I had caught of Grant assaulting someone who was quickly becoming my best friend.

A few moments after the clip ended Pike spoke up, "Grant, I'm going to have to bring this to Admiral Archer so he can brig it to the attention of the Council. You will be stripped of your rank and dishonorably discharged from the 'Fleet. I sincerely hope this affects you as much as you have affected numerous young women on this campus." Pike leaned towards his intercom. "Yeoman, send in Security to escort Mr. Grant to the Brig until his hearing can commence." He turned back to us. "If you would excuse yourself Grant. You may leave with Security, they will read to you your rights, I simply don't want to waste the breathe on you."

Security came in to take Grant away and the four of us were left in Pike's office. "Thank you, sir. Thank you so much! I know it won't do a lot to make everyone else on campus stop but it'll definitely make a difference. Thank you so, so much!" Gaila was near sobbing as she thanked Chris for doing, really, what should have been done forever and a day ago. nevertheless, he accepted her hug of gratitude, and sent us all on our ways to our next classes.

"Well guys, I think that was a great first day of school!" "Well guys, I think that was a great first day of school!"


	3. Girls Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened in Pike's office Gaila needed some cheering up. It doesn't go as planned, but she's better so there is that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics are thoughts. Underlined italics are dreams.  
> I hope this posts right, for some reason it didn't count the words as I typed.

"Ok ok ok ok. So, what you're saying. Is that he looked at this alien. Who was more than 10 feet tall. And said 'what are you gonna do about it.' How does one person hold that much.. I don't even know if it's confidence or arrogance." I said astounded at the stupidity that was apparently Nyota's brother-in-law.

  
"Most definitely the latter." She took a drag from her wine glass. "He then proceeded to get his face beat in, kicked out, and screamed by my sister. He was lucky the doctors fixed him up because a bachelor's party isn't an excuse for getting your ass beat the night before your wedding."

  
"No, no it is not." Gaila replied, equally as confounded as I was. "Tam, do you have any stories like that?"

  
"I do, but I'd rather not talk about my Ex around my new friends."

  
"That's ok, we can get drunk and mad at him another time. Do you have your eye on anyone?" Gaila asked, prying in that innocent way only she could do.

  
"I mean... kind of," I admitted. "But you have to promise not to say or do anything to him or me!"

  
"Ok, we promise. Now who do we get to shovel talk?" Christine asked, excited to use her weapon, otherwise known as Uhura.

  
"Well, I may have, like the slightest little inkling of a crush on mmfhm-mmhm" I mumbled.

  
"Who?" They asked.

  
"Leo..." I admitted.

  
"I knew it!" Nyota yelled.

  
"What? How did you know?" 

  
"It's kinda obvious hon. You stare when he's not looking and you curl your hair when you talk to him." Gaila said in a soft voice, as not to worry you.

  
It didn't work.

  
"Does that mean he knows? Oh my god! Does he know? He can't know. We both just got divorced! He's got a daughter, not that that matters, but I'm sure he wont want to introduce her to me of all people. Does Jim know? If Jim knows then he'll tell Leo!"

  
"Tam, calm down. He doesn't know, but I know he feels the same way. His pheromones are all over the place when he's with you. And yours are when you're with him too. It's not a bad thing. It's something that you two need to talk about." Gaila said.

  
"Are you kidding me? I can't just walk up to him and go; 'Hey what's up I like you.'"

  
"Why not? Humans are so weird with attraction. Just say what you mean." Gaila mutters walking into the kitchen to get something stronger than wine.

  
"I kind of agree with G about this. You both like each other, so what's the issue?" Ny questioned.

  
"Yeah you guys look so into each other." Christine looked concerned.

  
"Why not? You want to know why not. I'll tell ya why not. I just got divorced, that is reason number one, reason number two is that my divorce isn't even finalized. Number three, he just got divorced. Number four, he has a daughter and he probably doesn't want her meeting strange women who might not stick around long. Number five, both of our ex's are psycho. Travis burned down my great grandmother's house, and Jocelynn almost killed him. I love him, I do. I love the way he smiles when he thinks no one's looking, I love when his hair does the flippy thing that annoys him to no end. I love the way he is with kids and the way he cares for Jim, because we know something happened to him. I love the color of his eyes and the way they shine and sparkle when he's happy. I love his grumpy days just as much as I love his sappy ones. I love him, through and through. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm not ready for a relationship with anyone. Not even someone I know won't break my heart." I started crying, a long time ago I guess. Who knows when it started, "I'm off to bed. Good night."

Once I was in bed I started crying. I hadn't even told myself that. Now, most of my friends know that I'm in love with another one of our friends. Now that I had admitted it I could say it. Not out loud, of course not. But, to myself I could say it.

_'I love Leonard McCoy'_

Again.

_'I love Leonard McCoy'_

Again.

_'I love Leonard McCoy'_

Again

_'I love Leonard McCoy'_

Again.

Again.

Again.

Again.

_'I love Leonard McCoy. I love Leonard McCoy. IloveLeonardMcCoy. IloveLeonardMcCoy. IloveLeonardMcCoy. IloveleonardmccoyIloveleonardmccoyIloveleonardmccoy'_

I fell asleep.

I dreamt.

And oh, dream I did.

_"Honey, I'm home." I called walking into the entryway._

_"Mom!" Two twin voices called back, followed by one voice "Tammy" Two identical boys with reddish-brown hair (a trademark in your family) and Leo's hazel eyes rushed you, hugging your middle. They were closely followed by a blonde-haired girl with Leo's eyes._

_"Hey Honey, how was your day?" a voice called to you from the back yard. "I'm cooking up some chicken speedies for dinner, figured I'd fry 'em up on the grill."_

_"My day was good, awesome now I'm home. Dinner smells great, Babe." I said, walking outside. I quickly found Leo at the grill turning over some chicken speedies so they cook evenly. I walked up behind him and circled my arms around his waist. "I love you." I said kissing the back of his neck. "What did you and the kids do on your day off?"_

_"We went to the park for a few hours and then to lunch in town. Then we went to Leona's to get the speedies and came back home about an hour ago." He summed up his and the kid's day._

_"That sounds amazing Babe. I'm sorry I wasn't there, Jim had me looking at schematics for our new quarters and my new work station."_

_"That's ok love, I'll just get him back with a hypo next time I see him." He chuckled and turned around to wrap me in his arms. "I missed you. I love you so much i want to be around you all the time." He said looking down at you with his ridiculous height. A whole foot and a half taller._

_"You know I sometime hate our height difference. Little 5' no inches me cant reach up to kiss you. So get down her and kiss me, lover boy." I said jerking him down by the collar of his shirt and standing on my tippy toes._

_"Eww! Mom, Dad stop doing that! It's gross!" The smaller of the two boys said, grimacing._

_"Oh Lewis, go play and leave your mother and I alone. It'll always be gross for you to see me kiss your mom, but i promise you'll get payback the first time you bring someone home!"_

_"Eww no dad! Girls have cooties!" Lewis said the grimace deepening._

_"It don't exactly have to be a girl you bring home." Leo said turning to make sure the speedies dont burn. "Go get Declan and Joanna, tell them to set the table dinner's ready."_

_"Why are you torturing our son?" I smirked at him.\_

_"Why aren't you?" He asked cheekily. "It's fun to embarrass him. Plus," He leaned into my ear, "I didn't exactly hear you complaining."_

_"Come on smooth-talker, our kids are hungry." I walked away to help the kids. "Jo-Jo, go bring your dad a plate for me, will ya!"_

"Tamara! Wake Up!" Nyota looked like she was about to smack me.

"What time is it?" I asked,shooting up in bed.

"past time for you to be up. Your first class starts in 30 minutes. You slept through all three of your alarms." She walked out, calling behind her "Breakfast is ready. Oh! And you have a package out here for you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leona's Meat Plant is a real place and chicken speedies are freaking amazing if you're ever near Bradford County Pennsylvania, you have to go there. The people are awesome, they have this garlic spice powder that you can put on anything (I mean anything I put some in kraft mac and cheese the other day. It made that taste good) all their meat is locally sourced and free range, grass fed. There aren't any GMO's it's just awesome. Also, chicken speedies are chicken cutlets that are marinated over 72 hours with holes on the cutlets to let the flavor get into the whole thing. It's great! Sorry if there are people reading this that don't eat meat, I live in what my dad's gf calls the "Styx of PA" so there isn't much to do but farm dairy or beef or work on oil rigs.


End file.
